Beertopia

August 1, 2005

Why is Monday the only cloudy day of the week? It was hot and beautiful all weekend, and then Monday morning–bam–cloudy and cool. I actually slept under my comforter last night it got so cold. Naturally, it’s supposed to hit 96 degress by Wednesday, but leave it to grey, dreary Monday to kick off the week.

This past weekend was the big Oregon Brewers Festival here in Portland, and instead of going out for drinks at Happy Hour, my coworkers and I made plans to go and sample beer, instead. As we left for the brewfest, though, I had an odd experience I felt I should comment on. One of my coworkers is a pretty religious guy–takes the Bible literally, both in the stories it tells as well as the timeline it follows, goes to church multiple times a week both for worship and social functions, etc.–and he made a comment that I felt was worth writing about. As he left for the day, I called out “Sure you don’t want to come with us?” His reponse to me was: “Sure you don’t want to come to church with me?”

That comment struck me as odd, both confusing and somewhat insulting. I’ve commented on it before in social circles, but I’ve never really sat down and written about it. When exactly did religion and alcohol become mutually exclusive in this country? I’ve seen nothing in the Bible from my past readings that explicitly or vaguely prohibits consumption aside from lessons about vices and their danger. As a matter of fact and tradition, religion has embraced alcohol in many ways throughout the centuries. Jesus’ best known miracle was turning water into wine, and Catholics drink wine (traditionally) during communion to represent the blood of Christ. As for religious people drinking, the Italians are about as Roman Catholic as you can get, and wine is not just a drink, but a part of their culture. The same goes for the French with their wine. The English are overwhelmingly Anglican, and there is a rich tradition of English beer extending back hundreds of years even before Henry VIII’s break with the Catholic Church. The Irish are fairly religious (either Protestant or Catholic, depending on where you go…as sensitive a subject as that is still) and there’s a long–albeit somewhat more on the “vices and their danger” side of things if you believe popular culture–tradition of alcohol being accepted within that culture. Heck, Guinness is practically the national drink in Ireland! Some of the best beer in the entire world has been brewed in Belgian monastaries by monks for nearly 1000 years. Monks! Servants of God, brewing beer since before Protestant churches even existed! In fact, it was the Belgian monks who were first responsible for the addition of yeast to beer in the first place, referring to the effects of the yeast on the brewing only as “God is great,” if you believe the literature on the subject.

So where did things go wrong in the US? Even the puritan Pilgrims who made the voyage from Europe in the Mayflower, so extremist in their religious views they were exiled from their respective states and sought a new home where their ultra-conservative beliefs could be allowed to flourish, were forced to come ashore on Plymouth Rock when they did because they had run out of…wait for it…beer. Seriously, stop laughing. Those who are typically–though incorrectly–viewed as settling this country, drank alcohol. Those who founded this country in the late 18th century drank alcohol. Benjamin Franklin, one of the greatest scholars of the 18th century on two continents and a Founding Father of the United States, was once quoted as saying “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants to be happy.” Religious people around the world drink. Martin Luther, one of the architects of the Protestant Reformation, once wrote “We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.” I can go on and on quoting scholars and leaders of the world, from Plato to Sophocles to Abraham Lincoln to Ernest Hemmingway to Winston Churchill. So why is there such a schism now that alcohol is seen as wrong to religious folk in the US?

I can understand if your religion specifically prohibts consumption of alcohol like Islam or Latter Day Saints, but why shun something that has such a rich history among both people of the world as well as religion in general when there is nothing that specifically prohibits it in your particular faith? My coworker isn’t Muslim or Mormon, so why the association of church as the anti-alcohol? I just don’t get it. I don’t buy the old “alcohol leads to…” argument the same way I don’t buy the “rock and roll leads to…” arguments of the 1950’s or the “violent video games lead to…” that began in the 1990’s.

So there you have it–my confusion for the weekend.

The brewfest itself was a lot of fun. Picture 13,000 people who you share a passion with all crammed into an area the size of a football field, and that’s what the brewfest is like. I saw dozens and dozens of brewery and beer shirts. I saw kids who looked like they couldn’t have been more than a day over 21 and I saw people who might have given my grandmother a run for her money comparing ages. I saw clean-cut, professional men with full mugs and men who looked like they hadn’t shaved or gotten haircuts in months sipping tasters. From what I saw, the ratio there was perhaps 60/40 of men to women, which is pretty good overall. 72 different breweries, 72 different beers. One thing was crystal clear, though: Portland loves its beer.

As an off-topic side note, did you know that Portland has more breweries than Munich?

I went down with my coworkers and my Dad, who met me at the office. I had exactly $20 to spend, which meant that after the $4 mug purchase I could try 16 4-oz tasters of beer or get four full mugs. I opted for the larger number of tasters, but by the time Erika showed up a little after 6, I was about beered out after only maybe five or six samplers. It didn’t help that one of my coworkers knew someone from one of the breweries, and so we got let into the VIP tent they had where she was pouring free beer from a keg. I had a couple of mugs of that (remember, these are small, maybe 12-oz plastic mugs), and then after Erika and her friend Bonnie were done with their tastings, I still had 10 tokens left. Oy. They were getting hungry, so we wandered over to the Rock Bottom Brewery.

None of us were really interested in more beer, but it was close and we knew what kind of food we’d get. I did, however, want to try a seasonal beer called “Saison de Vin” (that’s “Season of Wine” for you non-French speakers) they had, so I just ordered a small glass. Bleah. I disliked it so much, I could barely drink it, but I hated to see it go to waste so I choked it down over the course of the meal.

To use up my spare tokens, I decided to go back the next day with my sister, so I met her downtown and we tried a few more beers, including the two Hawaiian brews. I’m sorry to report, however, that both of the Hawaiian beers were weak and tasteless. While waiting for heather, I had a great chat with my friend Ali from Beloit who I haven’t talked to in about a year. Ali is the one of the ones who I watched “Dune” and “Babylon 5″ with at school, and when I told her about Erika and how she’d enjoyed both of those series when I forced her to watch them, Ali said–completely deadpan, of course–”She’s a keeper.”

As Heather and I left, though, we were waiting at the 1st and Oak MAX stop when we were approached by a guy with a clipboard. Being downtown, I figured charity, registering to vote, or petition signing, but it turned out he represented a market research firm doing a taste test of some kind relating to beer. He asked me a few questions, I gave him my cell number, and off he went. I figured I wouldn’t hear from him, but Sunday afternoon I got a call from him and we worked out the details. I guess I answered all the right questions, because I fit squarely into the demographic they’re looking for to taste whatever it is they want me to taste. He kept asking about specific brands I’d had, and that I liked microbrews seemed to be the answer he was looking for.

I’m a bit leary about doing a market research thing after the stupid television market research thing Heather and I did out at Washington Square a few years ago, but she got a door prize out of it, so it can’t have been all bad. I figure it’s a win-win scenario for me, personally, barring any unforseen ambushes. Either the client the research firm is working for is a big macrobrewery like Bud, Miller, or Coors and I can tell them their beer tastes and looks like…well…we all know what American macrobrewery beer looks like, or the client is a microbrewery and I can flex my palate. I’m getting to the point where I can identify the type (type–not brand–i.e., Belgian, IPA, etc.) of beer by the scent alone, and I enjoy showing off my almost utterly useless talents. Either way, I’m getting paid $65 for one hour of work, so I’ll come out ahead in the end. $65 is about what I’d ask for to sit through a 60-minute commericial, if that’s what it turns out to be.

This is a busy week, but I’ll sum up. Tuesday, Erika and I are going to a free showing of The Dukes of Hazzard that I won tickets to. It was either that or Skeleton Key, and while the latter was my first choie, it fell on the night Erika and I are going to see The White Stripes next week. Wednesday night is my beer taste test thingy, Thursday night I’m making dinner for Erika, and then Friday Erika and I are headed over to Bend to go camping for the weekend at Smith Rock with her friend Bonnie and her cousin Owen.

Smith Rock should be a lot of fun. I stopped by there with my Dad a couple of years ago, but the last time I got out and walked around was when I was in Bend two summers ago. I tried to hike at Smith then, but I got such a late start and it was so hot, I could barely go on after an hour or two. I might try again, though. Better than sitting around for two days. I suggested that we go out to dinner Saturday night either at the Deschutes Brewery or the Bend Brewing Company, which seemed like it was well-received from those going. I haven’t been to either place, and since Bend Brewing doesn’t bottle its beer for sale in stores, it would be interesting to try. Then again, Deschutes beer on tap…tempting. We’ll see. The others may hold a revolt before then and want to do something else, and I don’t have the nerve or desire to make a stink about it if they do. I did, however, turn down going to the Bend McMenamins, so I’ve already gotten brownie points with Erika for the trip.

It be, though, that I am considering exchanging said brownie points for a visit to a McMenamins or two in Eugene on the way back. We’re thinking of going over the Santiam Pass on the way back to Bend–an absolutely beautiful drive from what I remember the last time I did it with my Dad going out to Bend–and it would put me in prime position to visit any number of three McMenamins in Eugene I haven’t been to yet. I’m more concerned about the drive, mind you, but I might have to use the old “Well, since we’re here already argument.” I won’t be driving, though, so in the end, it’s up to Erika. She, after all, calls all the shots. Or at least I let her think so for my own good.

That about sums things up. I’ll probably be too busy to write again this week, but I’ll do my best. Hope your Monday isn’t as dreary as mine.

Posted in Beer, Beloit, Erika, Family, Food, General, Movies