300!

May 14, 2004

300 entries and still going strong. Yay me! I find that I have a lot more time and energy to write in my blog now that I have time at work in which I can take a break and not have anything to do. No distractions here, at least.

My dreams last night were a bit unsettling. I hate waking from dreams where things are either strange or unsettling because then my whole day feels like that since your thoughts linger on that first moment you woke up in the morning. One night last week I had a very uneasy sleep, and I kept waking up and seeing things in my room. It turns out that even with your eyes fully open, when you’re in the half-awake state you’re still able to hallucinate and see things in your mind projected onto the real world. That night I kept waking up and every time I’d see something different in the darkness. I knew that they weren’t real because I was waking up from dreams, but while in that state you feel so mentally vulnerable, and after all, if you can’t trust your eyes, what can you trust?

But in any case, back to last night’s dreams. I dreamt about a friend of mine that I haven’t thought about in some time aside from passing thoughts and haven’t seen in about five years, and so it was almost like seeing them again and having a conversation with them. Well, I mean at some level I knew that it wasn’t real, but on the other hand dreaming is almost like looking through someone else’s eyes. You know what? It’s like the movie Being John Malkovich. You’re looking through someone else’s eyes at their life, and if you try really hard, you can control what they do and what’s going on. But it’s still a sort of subconcious thing, y’know? It was almost surreal, and in some ways it was as fulfilling as if I got to sit down with them again and catch up on things. However, I have no idea where they are, what they’re doing, on how I could get in contact with them even if I wanted to in real life, so for now I’ll have to settle for the dreamworld. At the same time, though, it made me sad, both because this person and I lost touch over the years, but also because I feel like I have unfinished business with this person.

Oddly, that’s the second person I’ve dreamt about lately who I feel like I have unfinished business of sorts with, though I woke up from this one feeling much less angry than the other one. I fully realize that no one can possibly be responsible for their actions in someone else’s dreams, but on the other hand as I said, dreaming about someone can be just as fulfilling as real life depending on the amount of interaction with the person. So when I got mad at the other person in previous my dream, it was because I was having a conversation with them and they made me angry. My dreams are way too literal. I was pretty intrigued as I thought about it later, though, how a person I know being represented by my subconcious could make me angry. I’m not sure if that’s Freudian in any way (and we all know Freud had his head stuck somewhere in the lower half of his body), but it certainly was odd. Not only did my subconcious create this person, but they played them how I would expect them to act in real life. Last night’s dream was much less emotional, thankfully, aside from the odd “Hey, what are you doing here?” feeling that you get even knowing that it’s a dream.

The series finale of “Frasier” was on last night, and I watched it with one eye while I did some other stuff. “Frasier” is a show that I’ve alwasy enjoyed and gotten a laugh out of, but that I haven’t seriously watched all these years. I think the problem was that reruns of the show weren’t on as often as “Friends”, and so even though I typically enjoyed “Frasier” more, “Friends” was practically crammed down my throat by the networks. Oh well. It ended about how I expected it to, with most of the main characters moving on to other things, but then the final scene wasn’t what I expected at all. Series finales where everything changes and everyone moves on to soemthing else always bug me. The finale of “Friends” was like that, the finale of “Night Court” was like that (though I still haven’t seen both parts…), and the finale of “M*A*S*H” was like that. While it provides an end to the show and you know that the imaginary world that was created is no longer there, that the character dynamics that the writers and producers had spent so much time working on would be gone, I think that’s always the key emotional thing for people. It’s not “I can’t watch ‘Friends’ anymore because the show isn’t on,” but everyone who was a fan knows “I can’t watch ‘Friends’ anymore because even if I could, everyone moved away”. Personally, the finales of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and “Cheers” were excellent for me. The endings for both shows ended on a note of “Everything is A-OK, and we’re all lucky to have what we have.” I think that’s a better emotional ending. You know that not only are the characters still happy (as if they really existed in the first place), but that the character dynamics you know so well are still there. The world still exists, as it may be. Cheers was still serving drinks in Boston because Sam didn’t move to California with Diane after all. The universe wasn’t destroyed and Picard and company flew off into the sunset for their next mission seeking out new life and new civilizations. Those types of endings feel better to me, I don’t know what it is. I’m sure the final episode of “ER” won’t have all the main characters leaving for better jobs, but I’m quite certain that whenever the final episode comes, it will end with doctors coming on duty, and a trauma slamming through the emergency room doors so they can go back to work. That’s real life. Life doesn’t end when people leave and the screen fades to black as the names of executive producers are displayed.

I’m glad it’s Friday. I feel fatigued but not exhausted like I did last Friday, so I’m clearly getting used to my new schedule. Mondays through Wednesdays I feel just fine all day, but Thursdays and Fridays my body really wants extra sleep. I reallys hould start going to bed earlier on Wednesday and Thursday nights, but hey, gotta do other things besides eat, sleep, and work. TV goes in there somewhere. I think this weekend I’m going to play a bit of Star Wars Galaxies with my sister, and perhaps spend a bit of time in a local pub relaxing with a pint or two. I just need to get out so that my weekend doesn’t fully consist of staying home. Maybe I’ll even get to go on a bit of car browsing, perhaps? Dad, you listening? Other than that, not sure what to do besides catch up on my sleep.

My bait from the last entry worked and I even got an email about it. The bait from the entry before yesterday’s, however, has still gone completely unnoticed. Since I haven’t heard from that person in a long time, I presume it’s because they’re not reading my blog anymore. No big deal. Well, I think that’s about it for me. Have a good Friday, all, and I hope your weekend is as good as I’m hoping mine will be.

Posted in General